Empty Me

 I came across this clipping in a magazine as I was crafting in my scrapbook journal last year and wrote a prayer for the year (2022) to go along with it. The quote (prayer) : "Lord, I pray that you'll empty me of myself and fill me up with more of you. May I think your thoughts, your desires and your ways, and show the world the difference you are making in me. Lord, I confess my desire to cover up my sin and ask you instead of allowing me to hide it, please purge it from my heart." 

My prayer journal: I really couldn't have said it better myself, Lord, but this is my prayer too. That I would become less of me this year, and become more of you. Jesus, teach me to walk, talk and think like you. Break my heart for what breaks yours, Father. Give me a glimpse into people's lives through your lenses. Guide me into a life worthy of your calling. Inspire me to face what's hard and to walk through challenges in a joyful and humble way. Fill me with your love, grace, hope, mercy, passion, and vision. Teach me to pray more and talk less. Show me the paths you want me to take this year and give me a strong purpose to glorify you. Let the Holy Spirit speak through me and pierce the souls of those I come into contact with. Let my home become peaceful, loving, gentle, and God-centered. Help me to be a godly wife, mother, sister, daughter, coworker, and friend. Help me focus on what matters most and throw distractions to the wayside. In your son's name I pray, Amen. 

This was such a fitting prayer for where I was at coming into 2022 and now moving into 2023 as well. It's amazing to see how God can humble us through our earthly experiences. I have learned so much this year about my feelings, emotions and responses to stressful situations and to say it's been a humbling experience would be an understatement. I am so thankful for my patient husband who showed loving mercy throughout the struggles and who always encourages me to face hardship head on rather than run away from it. He challenges me in big ways and for that I am forever grateful. I have seen such growth in our marriage even in the midst of my selfishness and inability to communicate thoughts in a normal way. God has shown me the ugliest parts of my sins this year that I may indeed purge them. It is still an ongoing process, but I find I'm able to worship Him through it rather than trying to constantly hide parts of myself from the One who already knows my every thought. In the past I've tried to compartmentalize my thoughts so that sinful ones stay over here "Away" from the part of me that wants to serve the Lord. Of course sin is not acceptable in God's eyes and it does wedge us apart from His plan for us, but because of what Jesus did on the cross I can be transformed by the renewing of my mind daily and I can fall at His feet in worship even in the midst of the struggle with sin. I am truly in awe of how Christ allows us to approach Him in prayer and to hear Him speak. He often calls us to greater things when we don't think we are worthy or ready; He says "my ways are not your ways" and so we are constantly reminded of what's truly important. Serving others to the glory of God has been the most joyful times in my life and I hope I have many more opportunities here on earth to show Christ's love to those who most need it - those like me.